Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
