I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Slut skills are useful in every country.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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