Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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