from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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