Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
