can u get pink eye on your cock?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
