opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
birth control should be required to get into college
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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