Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
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