I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
