He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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