He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
