What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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