lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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