what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
