All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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