i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
