let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize