Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
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i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
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I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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