I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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