just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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