what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
