I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
