a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
