perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
