I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
