Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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