Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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