I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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