I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
