so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
