I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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