i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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