im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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