Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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