Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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