dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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