Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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