Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
