hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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