You're so nebulous sometimes
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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