Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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