My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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