I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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