Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
high people should be assigned attendants
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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