I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
