we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
