hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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