I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
