You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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