So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
