at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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