Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
