erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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