I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
