um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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