I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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