What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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