It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
