"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
