You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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