I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
