True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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